Excerpt from a new story….

I have, with her permission, written a story about one of my dearest friends, the author TL Taylor, who was the other half of the creative process to conceive the idea of writing erotica from the viewpoint of a hotel suite.  We both started work on our stories but is soon became clear that her story was evolving into a novel and t the literary mechanism of using the room to tell the story wasn’t going to work for her.  Still, she deserves a great deal of the credit for the upcoming anthology I will be publishing: Room 1475.  You can look up TL Taylor on Scribophile.com and enjoy her literary, flash and erotic fiction.

TL and I have dramatically different viewpoints on Domestic Discipline, properly given submission, and spanking.  The following excerpt is the prologue to my final Room 1475 story; Spanking TL Taylor.  I spoke at length with her about the content and I have her permission to use her “likeness” in the story.  The prologue is actually true but leads into the fantasy that I wrote (with the permission of both of our spouses).

 

***A Note from Blair Farinholt

The author, TL Taylor was one of the strongest, alpha personality women I had ever met.  She lived in the wine country of California while I lived in the Hudson Valley of New York.  There couldn’t be two more divergent backgrounds.  We had collaborated on a theme concept which we were going to co-author and publish; Room 1475.  These were erotic stories told from the viewpoint of a hotel suite in Reno, Nevada.  I went on to write three stories for publication while her stories went on the shelf while she worked on other pieces.    

There was latent feminism in her strong demeanor as well as in the characters of her erotic writings.  Her female characters, sometimes victims of their own weaknesses, were rich and complex.

The male characters were far more one dimensional, motivated by their gender and their genitals. One character was so despicable that no one who read him, liked him.  I didn’t.  I could sense in our frequent conversations as we traded critiques that she liked Dominick, the arrogant, self-absorbed ass who is the antagonist of Taylor’s magnum opus called Power Play.  This seemed like a paradox to me.

These kinds of conversation came up when we compared notes, even before she coaxed me into joining Scribophile.com.  Often we would compare the similarities and the stark contrasts between the themes of her stories; power exchange in relationships-and those that I aspire to writing about; consensual spanking and Domestic Discipline.  Both types of relationships turn the typical lovers paradigm upside down.

In Power Play, Rebecca, the protagonist, wants to have a virtual online relationship without any strings when she is unwittingly drawn into Dominick’s web.  At first, seeming aloof and disinterested, he finally concedes to chatting and emailing her until they agree to have a sex only relationship.  However, she finds him to be a narcotic to her and soon finds herself being manipulated and used by the married man from across the country.  The entire time the two engage in an ongoing virtual War of the Roses on who has control of the relationship with the potential for tragic consequences; especially when Rebecca realizes that she has lost all of the power.

In my own work, that power is willingly and consensually abdicated by one partner, who then trusts the other to wield it for the betterment of the relationship.  This is the crux of Domestic Discipline ideology, Christian or otherwise.  For example, I was writing a Christmas fantasy about a broken woman who has a fetish about Santa.  When he comes and meets her, telling her that he can lead her back into both his good graces as well as emotional wholeness, she finds that she must surrender her will to the one figure in her life that she has ever trusted…even if that trust finds her on the receiving end of his ongoing corporal discipline.  My stories are always trying to have a happy ending.  TL’s aren’t necessarily obligated to such an end.

“What happens when you spank your wife?” she asked me one day after sharing critiques.

A Posting from Blair’s Submissive Wife, Margie: September Maintenance Spanking

Margie and I were just noting that I posted in a bunch again and felt like it was a perfect opportunity to post what was on her mind in regards to our CDD relationship.  After talking about the content, I agreed with the stipulation that we had probably reached the edge of our transparency about our marriage.

Blair is my Sir.  I don’t want readers to think that I am a doormat submissive.  If only that were true!  I would probably find myself bent over the bed or a chair less often.  I call him Sir when he is directing me or asks me things.  It is an incredible example to our children.  Most important to me though is that it keeps me in constant reminder of our roles in the marriage.  I am the submissive helpmate.  He is my Leader, my Priest, my Knight in shining armor… and my disciplinarian.

I actually have been doing well in the last couple of months.  I have only received five, relatively minor spankings in that time period.  I am focused and attentive.  It is a joy loving and serving my Head of Household.

Some time ago we both agreed that Maintenance spankings should be part of our marriage, especially as I become better and better at my obedience and behavior.  When I turned thirty, we negotiated Maintenance into our rules.  On the last day of the month, if I have received less than four spankings in that month, I receive a Maintenance spanking.  Maintenance is a spanking without offense, but unlike “good girl” swats or a role affirmation spanking which are both just simple and relatively quick bare hand spankings, it is a full, spanking ritual that usually is at least hard and sometimes severe in intensity.

As you know, it is the last day of September and I have been a very good wife (only one spanking for a parking ticket).  So tonight, I received my regular maintenance spanking.

As a woman, I have to share how intensely intimate this time together for us is.  It brings all of the best fruit of our marriage and our decision to practice CDD to the fore.  Practically, I just need the spanking because I haven’t been spanked in a while.  It is an extreme role affirmation for us because it bears the intensity of a punishment while engendering the trust that a role affirmation needs.  I feel his appreciation when I submit to Maintenance.  I hate the pain that I have to endure but I can feel his spirit being fed when I trust him with my discomfort and discipline.  It’s not that I am not submissive when I’m punished, but this is different, because I am submitting without offense.  He is tender even when he brings me to wailing tears.

Some of my most intimate memories of our marriage are the times where I am in position, either over his lap or bent over something and his hand is gently holding me and talking encouragement to me before he disciplines me.  When we pray together before hand, it is like we are about to do something holy.

Tonight, was both bitter and sweet.  It was simply the worst spankings I have received in nearly three years. I received a bare hand warm up that lasted five minutes; then I was given the hairbrush; then the belt; then I was paddled.  Between each set, I got five minutes of corner time and then three minutes of gentle rubbing.  We decided last week that it would be appropriate to have a severe spanking this month because I literally hadn’t received one in a couple of years.  It was mutually agreed to but while I was being spanked, I questioned my willingness.  We focused on my staying in position, role affirmation, and the reminder of how painful punishment can be.

As horrible an experience as it was (so bad that I was screaming in pain during the paddling and still can’t sit comfortably), it was also one of the most lovely evenings with Sir that I can remember.  He was patient with me.  When we prayed, I felt so close to him.  He prayed for strength to spank me as hard as I needed to receive and then prayed for my response to the spanking.  My spirit was so open to him.  It was also sensual for us.  We send the kids out on maintenance night, especially when it is hard or severe, mostly so I can cry or yell as loud as I need to.  It also allows me a little marital immodesty which makes the whole thing easier. Tonight, after we prayed he undressed me to my tank top and I didn’t dress again until the maintenance was over.  He knows that I enjoy being naked, especially in the freedom of our marriage.  He encouraged me through the entire process.  I could feel his hand holding my hip as I was over his lap being spanked with his hand and the hairbrush.  When I received the belt, he laid me on my back and whipped my bottom diaper style, his eyes always on mine which I loved.  When he is angry or disappointed with me, he will often withdraw relationship by bending me over or away from him while I am being spanked.  He touched me throughout the discipline and even though it was horrifyingly painful at times, I was completely at peace with the process.

Afterwards, I needed to cry it out and he just held me on the bed as I heaved.  Then as I just melted into Sir, as often happens on maintenance night, we wound up making love.  I absolutely love sex after maintenance because we are so tuned to each other that it is like we started even before he got inside me.

Sir tells me that maintenance are both his favorite and most difficult spanking to give me.  He loves it because it is the time where I seem to trust him the most which really encourages him.  It is difficult because he has to spank me so hard for no offense and his normal thought process is that I need that.  I love my husband so much.  I trust him even when he makes me cry.  I trust his leadership and he trusts my submission.

I couldn’t have told this story better actually.  Margie was amazing tonight.  After her spankings today, she posted all of the stories and articles that we got together to post here.  I was particularly struck by the intimacy of the diaper style spanking I gave her with the belt.  I really felt close to her as I held her legs and watched her face as I gave her the belt.  She was crying loudly and I had to make sure that I didn’t wane in the severity of the spanking.  Sometimes, when she cried out in a particularly fearful way, she would quickly augment it with an sobbing ‘it’s okay…it’s okay…’.  I am married to an impressive, powerfully loving, submissive Bride.  I am far luckier than you.  I love you, Wife.  

Head of Household Discipline

In my time as a spanking counselor, I have administered numerous spankings to men, who were both in and out of Domestic Discipline relationships.  Because I grill the men who receive our counseling with extreme vigor and prejudice, I have weeded out men who seek to sexualize the spanking aspect of what we offer.  Still, after that process, there are surprisingly significant number that seek the benefits and growth potential that are the fruits of regular corporal discipline.  I am such a man myself.

When I was growing up, my father, a loving but hardened military man with a special forces background, knew that I would need a strong hand.  So through out the most transitional years of my childhood… the terrible twos, 6 to 8 years old and my tween and early teen years,,, he was faithful and consistent to punish me when I started to weave off the road.  I remember all of the times where my father was lecturing me while I was outside preparing a switch which he was about to take to my butt and thighs.  I never questioned my father’s love for me and I never begrudged his discipline in my life.

For the first part of our marriage and all of my unmarried young adulthood, I silently became aware of how bereft my life was without regular discipline.

I am well networked in the DD community and in more than one of the boards that I visit, I began to seek out an accountability partner.  Margie and I agreed that it would be retrograde to our family purposes for her to try to discipline me.  We devote so much time to role affirmation that asking her to take on the discipline of the Head of Household was just too toxic to the health of our relationship and family dynamic.  What I needed was another HOH that felt exactly the same way.

In 2003 I began to correspond with a couple in Virginia who were experienced in DD and often compared notes.  Lloyd was a little older than me and was intrigued by the Spanking Ministry that we offered.  He became so interested that he proposed that he become a client.  I realized that if he was willing to be spanked by me that perhaps it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that we could join into a mutual relationship.  We talked over the course of six months.  We instructed our wives to talk the issue out between them as well. There is the inherent risk of a spouse feeling insecure, even sexually betrayed, by their spouse sharing a spanking relationship with someone of the same gender.  For Christians, there is the lingering thought of latent untouched homosexual feelings.  There were many issues to clarify but in January 2004 we decided to move forward.

Lloyd is my best friend now, even though we only see each other 4 to 5 times a year.  Because I have experience spanking men of all ages, Lloyd was comfortable with me having that authority in my life.  He is significantly older than me, so it was easy for me to submit to his authority.  At the change of every season, four times a year we schedule a weekend together.  We rent a remote cabin where we can talk and be in relative privacy.  We bring issues that we have been developing, our spouses concerns, things we know that we did that was wrong.  On the first day, I am the focus of the counsel and redirection.  The second day is devoted to Lloyd’s issues.  When we come together, we already have a plan in place and so the time is well used.  Both of us receive 4 to 6 spankings on our respective day and then a role affirmation spanking before we leave each other.  I don’t share beyond that because I don’t want to erode the authority that I have over my family.  They know why I go, just as the kids know that their mother gets spankings.  Again, it is just a normal part of our life.

A Peek Inside Our CDD Marriage

When I started writing on Scribophile.com and opened this WordPress blog, there was no intention of opening up Margie and I’s own DD marriage to the general masses.  It would be easy enough to deduce what some of our life would be like just from reading my posts on Scib or the excerpts I post here.  Having said that, it was Margie, who loves to read DD romance and is also a huge fan of several Domestic Discipline sites such as LearningDD.com and others, who noted it would be helpful to some to look into our lives a little, especially after a particular line I wrote into an erotic story I was working on in Scribophile.

In that story, I used a bit of autobiographical material to enhance the authenticity of the story.  That material was a statement that my wife made after sharing with the wife of a couple we were counseling on Domestic Discipline training recently.

Margie and I have been actively practicing CDD for over 17 of our 26 years of marriage.  It is so unconsciously normal in our lives that we wouldn’t even know how to live without it.  We have two kids who know what our marriage is about and are also brought up with loving Christian Discipline (that is all we will share on the that part of the family life.  If you would like to talk specifically about CDD, child discipline, and how to find harmony with them, send us an email and I will answer your questions).  Everything that happens in regards to spanking isn’t the romanticized drama that is put into DD romance novels.  Ironically, just as the passion and sex of a romance can be hyperbolic, so too can the trappings of a marital spanking.  Let me share the example I wrote into the story.

As part of the normal CDD experience in our house, each member of the family subject to discipline is required to keep up a spanking/discipline journal.  In it, Margie and the kids track the date, type, severity/implement and reason for a punishment given.  Every three months or so we check our journals in a family meeting.  Here is where we can tell how Margie and the kids are doing; if they are learning the lesson intended or if a stronger discipline is needed.  All punishments are included besides spankings: corner time, writing lines, chores, being grounded, etc.  Well, at the end of last year, Margie tabulated all of her spankings in a year including how much time was actually devoted to the punishments.

Margie was spanked 167 times in 2013.  Now, on the surface that would sound like all we do is spank, spank, spank; and that an enormous amount of time gets devoted to it.  In fact, that averages out to a hair over two spankings a week.  If you take out the 14 maintenance spankings and the 21 “good girl” spankings that I gave her, it is far less than 2 a week.  The worst spanking event in our home takes less than ten minutes to administer.  Talking and praying together are not punishment and are things that happen even when we aren’t spanking so I don’t consider that part of the time.  So the actual spanking part of Margie’s life.  So, of the 365 days that Margie lived last year, just over one and one quarter days were spent being spanked.  The rest of Margie’s year was spent doing all the other joyful, normal things that life had to offer.  The rest of her 363+ days were exactly like every other soccer mom in America.

As her character did in my story, Margie felt like this might be important for all the couples who were simply exploring what life was life.  It isn’t much different than anyone else’s really.  There are times when Margie or the kids never seem to get spanked and there are times when that seems like its all I’m doing.  That is just life.

Refocusing Versus Maintenance Spankings

Refocusing Versus Maintenance Spankings.

As a huge advocate for CDD, I found this transparent and deeply sensual act of Christian love from a husband to a wife so cathartic that I wanted to reblog it.  I like what they have done as a couple.  In our home we called it role affirmation.

Christian Marital Domestic Discipline

I have always watched from afar with interest this slice of an already tiny genre.  However, when I found that there are publishers out there screaming for this particular form of spanking literature I was delighted to dive in.  I am still an avid church goer though most of my readers would be skeptical and many of the fundamentals of traditional evangelical Christianity, particularly in regards to discipline in the home, resonate with me.  That was the inspiration for writing A Third of the Angels, a reference towards the angelic fall from grace when God cast Lucifer and those angels swayed by him to the earth.  The context here is that no matter how good one tries to be- no matter whether they are forgiven or not-they require the redirection and justice that discipline provides.  The book of Romans reminds us that no one is good; no, not one.

In A Third of the Angels we meet a young wife and learn how she was raised in a fundamentalist home with marital discipline, how she strays after the premature passing of her father and his strong hand, and how she struggles with her own fears when she prepares for marriage- fears of submitting to the legacy her parents hoped she would carry on in regards to Domestic Discipline.  This will be a trilogy, i.e. another large novel broken up into a mini-series.  The second book will watch the wife and her husband venture successfully into Domestic Discipline.  As they fall into the predictable routines of marriage, have children and such, they both realize that the zeal they both had for DD is ebbing.  They also feel isolated by the fact that it is a part of their life that they have to keep secret.  It isn’t until they meet another older Christian couple that also practices DD that they realize that they have to recommit to the lifestyle to reap the benefits it once gave them.  

In the final installment, we find the couple entering middle age, living the DD life in a routine, easy way but now they are always looking for ways to improve their marriage.  She wants to be a Proverbs 31 wife and knows in her heart of hearts that there is still more fallow ground to dig up in their marriage.  Then her beloved husband introduces a new term into their marriage at the suggestion of their DD friends…Domestic Discipline Bootcamp.

This first chapter sample examines her life as she watched her mother live out the Domestic Discipline life.

 

The rod of discipline drives the foolishness from a child’s (or wife’s) heart.
~ the Book of Proverbs

 

A Third of the Angels

Chapter One

 

I don’t know how many times that I got spanked as a child, but I know that it was a lot.   Daddy said that kids, girls in particular, go through seasons of their lives where the need to spank more often happens.  He told me that when I was between three and five years old, I got spanked almost every day, sometimes multiple times.  

 

Then I went through a season where I wasn’t spanked as often, perhaps three or four times a month.  When he would spank me, he would remind me, “Deborah, these will probably increase again when you are nine or ten.”  

 

With sage-like accuracy, as the estrogen of my puberty began to develop, so to did my skill for sighing heavily, rolling my eyes, complaining and feeling entitled as a ‘princess’.  Daddy seemed particularly interested in me and what was going on in my life.  He would take me out for regular date nights, where he would take me to fine dining restaurants, teaching me about having a more refined palate, and learning to disdain junk food.  During those dates, he treated me as the wife.  He got my door for me, order for me when the server came, he held my hand.  I always knew that Daddy was interested in me.